The full moon energy, combined with the eclipse is bringing in a lot of growth energy. And I feel it. Do you? Things long hovering under the surface are rearing their ugly little heads. The lessons we are here to learn are screaming for our attention.

For me, the last week or so has been about Rejection.

Of all places these days, I am feeling rejected by the yoga community. I say this and laugh to myself because I have experienced feelings of connection and acceptance right alongside those of rejection. And yet, Rejection is what I cling to. Why??

Because the story I hang on to is one of Rejection. Fear that if I show myself to the world, I will be rejected, proving that I am unworthy of love. (Which feeds my story, even though I want to grab hold of the new story!)

I feel lucky to be able to see what is happening so clearly. I feel lonely at times and yet, when people ask me to do things – to socialize and probably be less lonely – I run and hide! I know a lot of this has to do with my introverted nature, but I also think it is ultimately tied to my fear of being rejected for being myself.
So what do I do?

• Mantra. I love the “Sa Ta Na Ma” mantra, and I use the mudra along with it. You can read more here.
  • Sa, touch thumb to first finger. Birth.
  • Ta, touch thumb to middle finger. Life.
  • Na, touch thumb to ring finger. Death.
  • Ma, touch thumb to pinkie finger. Rebirth.

 

• Focus on the moments of acceptance and connection. I’ve started literally tapping them into my body when I feel those good feelings. Feel the warm fuzzies and use EFT Tapping techniques to hold them in my cells!

 

• Meditate. Quieting the mind, even for short bursts really helps. If you can’t do silence, you might listen to a sung mantra (may I suggest “I Bless Myself”) or spoken meditation.

 

• Do something you are good at. Something that comes easily to you is an expression of the gifts you have to offer the world. It can be really small like making a really good parfait or folding shirts.

 

• Do something a tiny bit outside of your comfort zone. Maybe this is going to the movies alone, posting a blog, or opening that piece of mail from the IRS. If it makes you nervous or if you notice you are trying to avoid it, do it. And see how you feel!

Love yourself. Sounds so trite. It is freakin’ hard sometimes! Keep working on it. What are you working on??

It's Monday. I teach on Mondays. But not this one.

On June 30th, a lot of chapters ended for me. We closed the doors at Magnolia, a studio that had lived in three locations over 6 years. Closing the physical door was hard. It was also the day that a friend moved away and my kids went off to camp.

I feel unsettled right now, not knowing what is next for me. I have a hard time not "doing." These last few days have been full of quiet. I've spent a lot of time alone, I've meditated, walked, moved my body around. I am conscious of my breath and what comes up with the rise and fall of chapters in our lives. 

Sadness, relief, joy, worry, confusion. 

I came to Magnolia looking for community, respite, and self-acceptance. I received so many lessons and teachers, many of those whose marks are lasting and some only being felt now. I am extremely grateful.

I am learning to trust that my path is guided.​

As a culture, we often focus on milestones. Big anniversaries, long term successes, mega-jackpots, superlatives. We don't often pay homage to the moments in between: truly the small pieces that make up our lives.

There were so many small moments encapsulated in the walls at Magnolia. It's going to be different. It already is different.

Today is Monday. I don't teach today. It's a learning day, listening to the messages from the Universe and from my soul. It's a day to honor this chapter, and to open to the next moment.