Shift.
  • Blog
  • #30DayVibe
  • Vibe Guide
  • Hello!
  • Shift Shop
  • Blog
  • #30DayVibe
  • Vibe Guide
  • Hello!
  • Shift Shop
Move your mind, Move your body, Move your soul.

Shift.

Eating Disorders & Other Quarantine Triggers

4/5/2020

0 Comments

 
A few years ago, I was eating and exercising in a "disordered way." I was so completely cut off from my body. I was living from the neck up. And I found a way to control the seemingly uncontrollable life I was living. Perfectionism is a nice way to say it.

I wrote down everything I ate and drank for almost 3 years. I also wrote down every bit of activity that I achieved. I ran 5 marathons in that time period. I ran so much that I hurt my physical body and my soul. I literally measured and counted not just calories, but how many carrots was I eating? How many almonds?

I am seeing a lot of memes out there about women's fears around eating too much right now. The Quarantine-15. I have also seen what I perceive as peoples' struggles with excessive exercising and/or images of them looking so thin and almost gray. It hits me because I was that. I remember talking with a woman who said she was "afraid" to stop her double-sessions (of working out) because she had just reached the weight she felt was reasonable.

"Is the snack pantry talking to you?" Those were actual words that came out of a yoga/fitness instructors mouth during an online session I took on Friday. I found myself starting to say mean things to me. To ME!! How dare I?!?!?! I have found myself considering writing it all down again. Running even if I don't feel like running. It's just a little push. Just to get me back on track.

Now, maybe that stuff works for you and you are not feeling at-attention right now. If so, cool. But for me? It's a big ole red flag.

Thankfully, I see it as such. I am falling back on the strategies that have worked for me in the past. A regular check-in on how I am feeling physically and emotionally. A sweat sesh that feels right in my body. Ending when I'm done. Asking myself what my body needs right now. Eating nourishing food. Also eating oreos. Reaching out to a trusted friend.

Now, things are different this time around. 

I am working at home. I am surrounded by my nuclear family. So many great things about this reality. AND ALSO, I am an introvert surrounded by my nuclear family. As in, all the time. So I have had to update some of my strategies.

When I really need alone time (and I do), I have a fake candle going next to me. It's the signal to my people that I am in my zone. No offense but leave me alone. I have also thrown away the scale. Literally in the bin. Nobody misses it anyway.

I have never actually admitted publicly that I had an eating disorder. I am not saying it for pity. And perhaps I am using this platform because I don't think anyone reads it anyway. But if you are reading it. And if any of this resonates with you, reach out. Fall back on your strategies. Fall back on your support crew. I am here.


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    You gotta feel it to heal it.

    ​Our physical bodies are the primary tool we use to experience this life. Connecting with our breath, moving vibrations through our physical bodies, feeling what comes up, and then releasing through expression, surrender, creativity. This is being human in these human bodies.

    Archives

    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016

    Find more articles about living the feels in the Rasamaya Journal and with
    Wake Up World
    ​

    ​

    Categories

    All
    Alignment
    Anger
    Awakening
    Bias
    Brain
    Breath
    Confidence
    Connection
    Emotion
    Fear
    Grief
    Inner Child
    Intuition
    Loneliness
    Meditation
    Perspective
    PTSD
    Racism
    Re Humanize
    Re-humanize
    Scarcity
    Self-abandonment
    Self-Love
    Self Worth
    Self-Worth
    Silence
    Tarot
    Vulnerability

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.