Not Good Enough.

We are living in a culture of "not enough."
Not pretty enough.
Not smart enough.
Not skinny enough.
Not enough sleep.
Not enough time.
Not enough money.

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So naturally, I'm wondering what's up with that?

When did it start?

Some may argue that it has always been.  I mean, look at Adam & Eve in the Garden. Talk about lacking from the very beginning! Our cultural foundations (myths and religions) have rooted us in a culture of deficiency. There was always a divide between gods and "mere" mortals.

While I recognize our underpinnings, I still felt called to search. ​Maybe it is because I hear so many folks (and the voice in my own head) thinking that they aren't enough. That "if only" fill in the blank, they would be happy. They would be ok. They would be loved. The would be worthy of love.

​My search led me in two different directions - or maybe hues of the same. The first concept being that of "self esteem" and the second being the beginning of emotional advertising.

A Short History of Self-Esteem

While the first mention of "self-esteem" was delivered in David Hume's Treatise of Human Nature, Vol 2 in the 18th century, the concept was further developed by William James in the late 1800s.

William James then explained the concept of self-esteem as a capacity to develop the self. He said that if one had low expectations and high degrees of success, the person would have higher self esteem than someone with high expectations/low success.

The Baby Boomer generation founded the self-esteem "movement" with leaders Stanley Coppersmith and Nathaniel Branden. In the 1980s, a Californian politician first blamed self-esteem for societal woes such as teenage pregnancy and crime.

In the last decade, researchers and psychologists have questioned whether America's obsession with self-esteem has resulted in increased narcissistic personality disorder and increased rates of depression among our youth.

Feel Good Advertising
While David Hume was waxing philosophical and the industrialization of America in full swing, packaging became "a thing". As a society, we were moving away from locally sourced and purchased items. In fact, 1879 brought us the "folding box" - for cereal!

Mass production meant, well, more products. A lot more. And the we needed to create demand.

And the themes and words used in order to promote demand was around our feelings.  

Feel BETTER with this soap, this clothing, this car.

​Better than.... what?

I think this is a big piece of the puzzle. Bigger than what? It was also during this time, remember, that we first got television. A chance to see how other families, moms, dads, professionals, pick-a-label got to live in the world.

​New definitions of achievement (part of the "self-esteem" equation) and needs (to improve our feelings) were sitting in our living rooms for the first time. Ever.

"Why don't we have what that family has?"

And subliminally, if not overtly we think, "She looks so relaxed. I want that."

Sometimes we don't get the things. Sometimes we do. And sometimes, we get the things, but we don't have the feelings we were trying to buy... What's wrong with me?

Not pretty enough.
Not smart enough.
Not skinny enough.
Not enough sleep.
Not enough time.
Not enough money.