The Boys Club: Sexism at Work

Things are not going well at work.

For years, I have talked about, journaled about, cried about the fact that I work in a very sexist/ableist/racist industry. Healthcare is predominantly run by men. Usually white men.

I have experienced sexism at work since I joined the corporate environment in 2008. I didn't experience it as much during my first 8 years in the labor force, likely because I worked in non-profits. And most non-profits are run by white women. Still lot's to unpack there, for SURE, around racism, but today I focus on my personal lived experience and so today that is sexism at work.

I've tried sending emails, talking to HR, talking to people directly about their behavior in the workplace. I've even tried not caring. (The trying to not care one doesn't ever work for me. Shocking.)

I am experiencing a new group of men at work who are displaying all of the classic behaviors of sexism in the office. Telling me to schedule his meetings and take notes for them. Assigning party planning to a female Senior Director. Re-stating what their female colleagues have just said (i.e., mansplaining). Assuming that my family life will curtail my work and travel abilities ("I know it is difficult to travel because you have a family at home").

It is infuriating. I left yesterday wanting to just quit outright. I'm done. See ya. Good luck! It infuriated me twenty years ago and it infuriates me now. And maybe especially now because I am over forty, have been in the industry 20 years, and have witnessed so many of my male peers getting promoted while I have stayed at the Director level (in healthcare) for a decade. And now, a new crew, with fewer years in the industry  are mansplaining that industry to me and asking me to go grab them coffee.

Thankfully, I woke up to a new day and reminded myself to write it out. Process it. See what you can do, what you have done, and what you can learn and share from others who are in this same position. Because here's the thing. This is not just  a personal situation of mine. This shit happens ALL THE TIME. And I really don't want it to happen to you, too. 

So What Can Be Done?
1. First and foremost, know your own worth. This is not about you. This is a system that is perpetuated by people who want to hold onto their power. You are not being "picked on" because of anything you have done. These guys (and not always guys) are trying to cling to power, make their mark, whatever whatever. Not about you.

2. OK, Second. Set boundaries. Be clear about what you will and will not do. This one is HARD because we want to be seen as "team players" and helpful. I am personally unsure how direct to be in any situation. I tend towards direct communication and that doesn't always work out for me. :/

3. Enlist support. Chat with HR, confidents. Think about people you admire - those who are grace under fire - and how they would respond in a situation like this.

4. Do something. Maybe that is writing it out, talking it out, being direct, being indirect. But do something. You are in charge of your life. You get to set your boundaries and stick to them!

If you have ideas.... ​please comment below. I could use a few more in my pit crew of support!