The Way I Don't Feel

I'm going through a rough time right now. And (well-meaning) people are saying things to me that don't exactly... match... how I am feeling.

"You are so brave."

"Resilient."

"You are stronger than I am."

It feels like the separation language that I felt when I was my most in-vulnerable, my most untouchable. And I don't feel that way now. I don't feel disconnected, like those words make me feel.

And I don't really fee brave or resilient or strong.

I feel awful. Sometimes. And I feel very clear at other times. I feel scared as hell on the one hand, and in the next moment, trusting in what the universe will throw my way next.

Is it brave to follow your heart? To lean in to the things you love and move away from the things that don't fit anymore? I think I feel... honest.