Move your mind, Move your body, Move your soul.
The last month or so has been rough, people!
So much coming up in my work life, home life, relationships. Where do I even begin? Reminders that life is sacred with some family health scares and a colleague committing suicide. Having a high BP reading at the dentist. Not sleeping well. Feeling tired. Feeling meh.
Old family stories coming back to haunt me in the form of guilt and shame. Putting up boundaries and still feeling like crap because the situations that "trigger" us ("you are just _____" -- it's not good, BTW) only do so because we believe the sentiments are true ("I really am _____"). Ouch. And also, meh.
Wanting a particular job that didn't want me... but wanted my former boss and she got hired instead. Trying to remind myself of divine timing and if it's for me, it won't miss me. But I feel like I'm trying to convince myself. It was a job more in line with my personal mission and values to ease the suffering of people around me. And I'm mad at health insurance and the whole industry and kind of want out (and mental health felt like a good lateral shift). Back to the questions of how I can live my values/be me no matter the place of work AND ALSO that it's you not what you do. Again, meh.
My new boss thinks I'm his administrative assistant and I put up a boundary and re-directed him to an actual administrative assistant. I'm trying to influence him positively, but with my workbestie leaving (and many co-workers leaving as well) I feel meh here, too. Meh Meh Meh.
My FaceBook and IG were hacked and the hacker put up terrible photos that don't abide by community standards and so my accounts are disabled. A reminder that I don't own that profile. Anything we put out on those platforms is not ours anymore! -- I do own this website -- so I am here to do my "work" and posting in the world.
You gotta feel it to heal it.